If  The Mayans Are Wrong… 12-21-12 

Happy 2012! As we entered the new year I realized that if the Mayan Prophecy is correct, 2012 is our last year. According to a book that I received as a Christmas present The Mayan Prophecy 2012 by David Douglas, our last day is December 21, 2012.

Wait a minute the author’s name is David Douglas..? A shout out to my friend Andy and his Scarlet and Gray illuminati Brotherhood.

If that prophecy is correct, the world will come to an end on 12-21-12 and you will only have 8 days to see The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey. www.thehobbitblog.com   www.imdb.com/TheHobbit/videogallery

The Mayans had a well developed civilization covering quite a vast area.   www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_civilization

They left a number of amazing ruins in places like Mexico, Guatemala, Belize and Honduras. They also left an unfinished calendar. It is that calendar that seems to be the basis of the December 2012 end-of-the-world prophecy.

If that prophecy is correct on December 21, 2012 you should party like there is no tomorrow.

If however, that prophecy is wrong, the world will not end 12-21-2012 and on 12-31-2012 we will usher in 2013.

What Will Your 2012 Calendar Reveal?

Years ago, my friend Al Gallo ( www.breakthroughwisdom.com ) taught me that looking at your past year’s calendar is one of the ways that you can know where you are headed.

If the world does not end at the end of 2012, your 2013 will be determined by what you do or do not do this year – 2012.

What are your Battle Winning Tasks?

This year - 2012 , you can work to make next year - 2013, better for you and your family. The trick is to identify what Battle Winning Tasks you need to do every day or every week. It is easy to be busy doing important things and miss the most important things that you need to get if you are going actually improve your situation.

For example, right now I have over 1200 pictures I personally took from Nov 15 through Jan 1 that I just imported from my Iphone into Iphoto. I have pictures of food carts, meals I had at great Portland restaurants, etc. Most of those pictures are related to important projects I am working on.

It would great to go through those pictures and sort them into albums based on which projects they are intended for. That is an important task. However if I do that at the expense of  getting my writing in each week, I am a fool. For me, writing is a Battle Winning Task. It is hard to be an author and a speaker if you do not get your writing done.

Do You Want To Show Al Your Calendar? 

If you spend time each day or each week actually getting to your Battle Winning Tasks, get a calendar and a red pen and put a check mark on each day or week that you got to your Battle Winning Tasks. The more red ink you see, the closer you are getting to your dream.

If you end up with a calendar that has lots of red ink in it,  you will be fired up to show it to others. Plus that is a great way to track your progress. My hope is that by the end of 2012 I will be excited to show Al my calendar.

December 2012 is coming and the world is not going to end on 12-21-12. Start working now to make your 2013 what you want it to be.

For more on battling for your dream see –  www.battleforyourdream.com.

If you have a dream that you are battling for, I know how hard that can be. I hope that you have encouraging people pulling for you. Please know that I am pulling for you. If I can of any assistance or encouragement my email address is sshomler@GoodLifeSage.com

That’s it!

Steven Shomler

Good Life Sage

How To Make Great Turkey!  How To Cook Great Turkey!

www.howtomakegreatturkey.com        www.howtocookgreatturkey.com

I make great turkey! I cook great turkey!

My approach is easy and effective.

My turkey browns nicely and it is always moist and tender and delicious.

I can help you learn how to cook great turkey for Thanksgiving, Christmas – anytime.

Please note – I do NOT ever baste my turkey.

So how do I make my great turkey and avoid the misery that is turkey basting?

I will tell you my turkey secrets! Forthwith!

My first secret is that I use a Flavor Injector ( www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-flavor-injector.htm)

A Flavor Injector is a wonderful cooking tool. It is a syringe with a long metal needle that you can use to inject melted butter directly into your turkey. Let me say that again – you can inject melted butter directly into your turkey. Is that fantastic or what!

Here is how you go about making/cooking Great Turkey.

Get your turkey out on a large cookie sheet.

Take one or 2 cubes of butter and put the butter on the stove in  small pan on med low heat to melt. Add 1/8 teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper per cube to your melting butter. Yes, I said Cayenne pepper! It will give your bird a wonderful flavor.

Run a glass 1 cup measuring cup under hot water.

Get out a small bowl and fill it with ice cubes.

Once your butter melts and starts to brown, pour it into the warmed measuring cup.

The reason you use a 1 cup measuring cup is because it is narrow enough to allow you to easily get the butter into the syringe and sturdy enough to work with. Do not use a plastic measuring cup. Bad things can happen when you put hot butter into a plastic container.

Time to shoot up the turkey!

Load the syringe up with the melted cayenne butter and start injecting the bird. Point the syringe straight down and carefully pull out the needle. Often when I do that, the butter starts running out of the hole I just made into my bird. That is what the bowl of ice is for. Apply an ice cube to the hole and the butter bleed will stop as the butter chills and hardens. Inject the bird all over.  Just go for it.

Stuffing

If you are going to stuff the bird, now is the time. Don’t be shy – cram your stuffing in.

To see my one of my stuffing recipes go to www.stevenshomler.com/2011/01/20/christmas-feast-2010-part-3-sourdough-stuffing-am-yukon-gold-mashed-potatoes-with-hazelnut-butter

Put your turkey in a bag!

My final turkey secret is that is really easy and convenient to use an oven bag for a turkey.

If you use a Reynolds oven bag, you do not have to baste your bird, and it will be moist and delicious. www.reynoldsovenbags.com. Why Reynolds? Heck – they make a plasticbag that you put a turkey in and put into the oven. That technology amazes me! Why doesn’t the bag melt? or explode? I don’t know, they probably use special gamma ray irradiated polymers in it. If the Reynolds people want to fly me out to to learn more about their amazing bag, I would be delighted to go!

I have found that it can be tough to get the bird into the bag. While your turkey is still on the cookie sheet , open up your bag, and slide it under and over the bird. I advise against picking up the bird and trying to put it into the bag. Speaking from ugly experience you might drop the bird.

Getting the bird into the bag always reminds me of Jack Daughery’s line – “watching certain women put on panty hose can like be watching someone stuff a marshmallow into a piggy bank.”

While the amazing plastic oven bag does not melt, you want to take out the racks in the oven above the bird and make sure that your turkey is on a lower rack. When heated the bag does inflate, and you do not want the bag to hit the top of the oven while it is cooking. The 4 pics immediately  above show my turkey as it first goes into the oven, after about 1 hour in the oven, after about 2 hours, and just before I took it out of the oven.

Let me close with this – In the past I have received grief  from other cooks about using a cooking bag for a turkey. It used to bother me. I have since learned to let it go. I love the Food Network, and Throwdown with Bobby Flay and Iron Chef America are two of my favortite shows. I in 2010 I watched a Thanksgiving Throwdown that had Bobby Flay vs Ree Drummond.  www.foodnetwork.com/throwdown-with-bobby-flay/thanksgiving-feast www.thepioneerwoman.com.

I loved that Throwdown episode, however, I felt sorry for both of them as they kept having to baste thier turkeys. I like how I do it. It works for me and my turkey always is moist and delicious. What more could you want?

So – if you want to make/cook great turkey – simply follow the instructions above!

I do hope that my turkey bag confession does not prevent me from some day being a judge on Iron Chef… Chairman – Please consider a turkey bag a poor man’s Sous Vide / Immersion Circulator.

If you would like to easily share this article with someone it can be found at www.howtomakegreatturkey.com  or  www.howtocookgreatturkey.com as well as on www.stevenshomler.com

That’s it,

Steven Shomler

Going For It – My Breakthrough Quest

www.mybreakthroughquest.com

My good friend Al Gallo (www.breakthroughwisdom.com) taught me that focused effort brings breakthroughs.

In the past two months (July and August 2011) my wife Gayla and I have a made a number of pretty intense changes to our lives and our living situation. We have made these changes so that I can spend the next six months  - September 2011 through February 2012 writing full time (40 +hours a week)

Since I started my first blog in December 2009, I have worked a full time job and done my writing on the side. It has taken me quite a while to hone my brand and figure out what I actually want to write about.

It helps to finally know what I want to write about.  Some of the blogs I started are ones that I will not pursue, other blogs I have started I will stick with and get back to. To see what blogs I will keep pursuing see my “follow” page on stevenshomler.com/follow

When I started stevenshomler.com in December 2009 I did not actually know what I would write about. I just knew that I had to write and that I should get started and figure it out along the way. I am so glad that I did that. It has been in writing the past 18 months or so that I have been able to find my authentic point of view and discover what I want to write about.

Back on June 6th, 2011 we had a great situation all laid out, my wife was working a full time job and I had a part time job ( Pastoring at Bridge City Community Church 15-20 hours a week) and I was going to be able to spend 40 or so hours a week writing and battling for our dreams.

By June 12th the wheels completely came off and everything seem to fall apart. To maintain our status qou and keep us in our home I was going to need to find a full time job ASAP.

It was then that my wife said that we should make whatever changes necessary to be able to stick with a scenario that allowed me to write 40 plus hours a week. So 2 months or so later here we are – a new address and many other things completely changed. I am very blessed, not many wives would be willing to do what Gayla has done, to give their husbands a chance to battle for thier dreams. If this works , it will be a great story!

182 Days – September 1, 2011 – February 29, 2012

Focused effort brings breakthroughs.

I want to be a speaker and an author. Our battle plan is that I am going to spend the next six months working 15-20 hours a week at my part time job to help pay the bills and 40 plus hours a week writing a book and using my blogs and social media to help make my goal of being a speak and an author become a reality.

I am going to work this battle plan 6 days a week for the next 6 months and I am expecting that this focused effort will bring us a breakthrough.

We may not succeed, but I would rather go for it and fail than not go for it and spend the rest of my life wondering.

I want to become a speaker and an author. I want a better life for my family. I want to have the freedom to live a first class lifestyle. I want to see the beaches of the worlds. (www.battleforyourdream.com)

I am going spend the next 182 days (counting today) working hard and working smart to live the life I imagine. I am on a 182 Day Breakthrough Quest. Rest assured, I will keep you posted.

That’s it,

Steven Shomler

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Movie Review

Transformers: Dark of the Moon PG-13 (PG-13 due to intense scenes)

Movies Website – www.transformersmovie.com

“Autobots, Decepticons, intense action, explosions, Sam Witwicky and a new hottie who is easy on the eyes!” Steven Shomler, Good Life Movie Reviews

Summary – The Decepticons are once again deceiving. This time the mystery centers on what did or did not really happen on the moon. Transformer regulars – Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf), Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Epps (Tyrese Gibson)  and Simmons (John Turturro) are joined by newcomers- Carly Spencer (Rosie Hunington-Whiteley) Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) and Mearing (Frances McDormand). The story and the battle converges in the city of Chicago.

  
 Rating -  I give Transformers:Dark of the Moon 3 out of 5 Gas Cans. Enjoyable. Worth seeing in the theater, especially if you are fan of Summer blockbusters!

3D My advice – See this movie in 3D. It’s worth it.

Is it a Film or a Movie? Transformers:Dark of the Moon is a movie.

My Favorite Quote – “You either take the right position out of college, or you fall into a soul sucking abyss.”

Runner up Quote – “The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.”

Other Quotes – “Neil, you are dark on the rock, mission is a go.”

“My hero needs to wake up.”

“As I recall, that was not even the highlight of your day.”

“It reminds me of Bumblebee, if Bumblebee was a POS.”

“That is Shockwave.”

“I want a job that matters.”

“Do I look Like a ma m?”

“You are a woman, right?”

“It’s Cyrillic, it’s like all the buttons on the calculator, that you don’t ever push.”

‘I hereby discharge you from duty.”

“Is that okay with you, Mr. Inappropriate?”

“That kids is an alien bad news magnet.”

“I am just a messenger!”

My Favorite Sequence – Witwicky and the gang in the collapsing building. really cool sequence.

Who you should see the movie with – Ideally teenage boys. Michael Bay seems to know what they want in a summer movie. also fans of the previous two  Transformers movies.

Other reviews you might find helpful – From The New York Times by A.O. Scott  www.movies.nytimes.com/2011/06/29/movies/transformers-dark-of-the-moon-movie-review.html

From Entertainment Weekly by Lisa Schwarzbaum  www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20483133_20483482,00.html

From USA Today by Claudia Puig  www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/transformers-dark-of-the-moon

What I liked about this movie and other thoughts -

This was a fun summer movie. explosions, awesome special effects, a hot girl, bad guys, good guys. Yep. you have seen it all before, but it still looks good.

Chicago gets totally laid waste in this movie and all that was impressive to see.

I really liked the appearances by  a number of the less featured characters;

Sam’s parents; Ron and Judy Witwiky (Kevin Dunn and Julie White).

Bruce Brazos magnificently played by John Malkovich.

Jerry Wang creepily played by Ken Jeong.

and Sentinel Prime voiced by Leonard Nimoy.

All in all, a satisfying summer blockbuster.

That’s it

Steven Shomler

Good Life Movie Reviews

Transformers Movie Quotes Transformers: Dark of the Moon Movie Quotes

First published  www.GoodLifeMovieReviews.com - my movie review blog.

Green Lantern PG -13 (IMO – In My Opinion  - PG-13 due to some of the action scenes)

Movies Website - www.greenlanternmovie.warnerbros.com

“A good movie for fans of Green Lantern and the Green lantern Corp!” Steven Shomler, Good Life Movie Reviews.

Summary - Test Pilot Hal Jordan is given a Green Lantern Ring by a dying alien (Abin Sur) and proceeds to learn about it, the Green Lantern Corp and himself, as he defends earth against against an evil foe.

Rating 

This is the first movie I have had to give two different ratings to. I have never seen a movie reviewer do that before, but I figured what the heck, why not be first. This movie gets either, 2 or 3 (of 5) gas cans depending…let me explain. We start with the 3 gas cans -

I Give Green Lantern 3 out of 5 gas cans.  Enjoyable. Go see it in the Theater - if…If you  read Green Lantern or Green Lantern/Green Arrow comics as a kid. If you are fan of theGreen Lantern Corp. If you remember the first time you read Tales Of the Green Lantern Corp #1. If Hal Jordan and (Not Guy Gardner, or John Stewart, or Kyle Rayner*) is your favorite human Green Lantern than this is the movie for you!  You will get a kick out of seeing Tomar Re and hearing Kilowog say “Poozer” and seeing Oa on the big screen etc. etc.

* I did not forget Alan Scott Earth 2′s Green Lantern. Earth 2 heroes and members of the Justice Society and All Star Squadron are in a category all their own. Cool pics and links below at the end of this post.

If however, the above paragraph sounds like gibberish or unknown-to-you geek talk, then I give Green Lantern 2 out of 5 Gas Cans - Mediocre. See it at the theater only if you are already at the theater and there is nothing else worth seeing. Better to wait until this movie comes out on DVD.

It is an okay movie, just not a great movie. If you are not already familiar with the world and mythos of Green Lantern this movie might not float your boat.

Is it a Film or a Movie? Green Lantern is a movie.

My Favorite Quote – “To Infinity and beyond, By the power of Grayskull.”

Runner up Quotes – “You are afraid, good.”

“Have you concluded admiring yourself?”

“Never let your guard down, Poozer!”

I would have gone with Jones too, but unfortunately he is busy not being good enough.”

“Make yourself at home, there is water in the tap.”

“I have never felt better in my life.”

” ‘Same old, same old’, ‘same here.’ “

My Favorite Sequence - Hal Jordan and Hector Hammond at the Ferris Aircraft party telling each know that nothing has really changed in their lives lately.

Who you should see the movie with – Friends who are comic book fans who know the Green Lantern mythos.

Other reviews you might find helpful – From Entertainment Weekly by Owen Gleiberman  http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20483133_20483463,00.html

From USA Today by Claudia Puig -http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2011-06-16-green-lantern-ryan-reynolds_n.htm

What I liked about this movie and other thoughts -

I am a comic book nerd. I loved seeing Tomar Re and Kilowog and Oa and Sinestro and Amanda Waller and the DEO etc, etc etc.

I thought this movie did a nice job with the prologue giving viewers a brief explanation of the Green Lantern Corp.

For me, this movie failed to have enough heart. It was lacking depth. I liked Ryan Reynolds, yet he did not come off as truly heroic, like Hal Jordan does in the comics.

I ened up seeing this movie in both 3D and 2D. I liked it better in 2D, other than the very end. The “planet” scenes that play during the closing credits, they look amazing in 3D.

I liked the sense of childhood nostalgia I felt seeing a real live Green Lantern movie on the big screen, even a mediocre Green Lantern movie.

If you are a comic book nerd like me , you might appreciate the links and pictures below.

That’s it!

Steven Shomler

Good Life Movie Reviews.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern_Corps

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Green_Lanterns

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Scott

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardians_of_the_Universe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardians_of_the_Galaxy_(1969_team)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-Star_Squadron

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_Society_of_America

Journal 100 Pages

www.journal100pages.com

Journaling is a great tool to Pursue Wholerness and Life Change.

www.journalforwholerness.com    www.journalforlifechange.com

I often encourage people to journal. For example, If I ever see you for marriage counseling, you can be sure that we will likely hit upon some issue that you would do well to journal about. When that happens, I will suggest that you get a pad of yellow paper, a few blue pens and journal about the the issue we hit upon.

3 Pages of Journaling Does Not Cut It

I have discovered that I need to very clear about what I mean when I say journal. I mean really write. I mean work at it and put in more than 20 minutes.

The bigger the issue you need to write about, the more pages you will need write as you pursue wholerness.

I once encouraged someone I was counseling, to journal about a serious, painful issue from their childhood. I asked them to do some journaling before the next time I saw them. About ten days later, I saw them again and they had written 3 pages.

I had expected they they would put in maybe 3 or 4 hours and write maybe 40 or 50 pages.

My Bad

I did not communicate this to them. I knew that 3 or 5 or even 10 pages of journaling, would not be enough for them to adequately process this serious childhood issue.

I never told them that they would need to write a lot of pages. I just assumed that they knew this. My bad.

It’s Symbolic

These days, I tell people that they need to number their pages when they journal about a particular topic, and that they need to be prepared to journal 100 pages in short order.

The 100 pages is symbolic. Some issues take only 30 or 40 pages. Some issues (like being sexually abused as a child) take 100′s or 1000′s of pages of journaling to healthfully process.

Did You Want to Become Wholer? Do You Want Life Change?

Sometimes I throw out the 100 pages as a gut check, to see if the person is currently serious about pursing wholerness and becoming wholer. The truth is that when you are done journaling about a topic, you are done and you know when that is.

Someone may only need to actually journal  67 pages to come to peace and/or healing with a particular issue. However, if they are thinking that they will only write 10 pages and stop, they are not going to get to the needed other 57 pages.

Sometimes I can tell that a person is going to need to see a competent professional counselor and write 100s of pages to heal.

That is what it took for me to head out on the road toward healing. I have written 1000′s of pages. I still journal for Wholerness and Life Change to this day.

In my early 20s, I  saw a competent professional counselor for 4 plus years to face and process the abuse I endured as child – you name it, I went through it. I know firsthand the powerful role that journaling can play in a person’s journey to become wholer.

People who are not willing to even consider the possibility of writing a 100 pages to contribute to their own healing, are usually, not yet ready to grow.

If a person is willing to write 100 pages and they actually do that and then they discover that they still have many pages to go, they usually have found so much value in the first 100 pages that they are quite willing to keep journaling until the issue has been healed from.

So be prepared to journal 100 pages. You may need to journal more or less than that. I can tell you this – 3 pages will not be enough.

If you would like to easily share this article with someone, it can be found at www.journal100pages.com as well as on www.stevenshomler.com

That’s it

Steven Shomler

Journal For Wholerness  - Journal For Life Change

www.journalforwholerness.com   www.journalforlifechange.com

You want to change your life? Get a 12 pack of yellow pads, some blues pens and start writing.

Journaling is one the best ways that you can pursue wholerness, wholeness, or life change.

Wholerness?

You might be asking what “wholerness” is. Rather than encourage people to become “whole” I encourage people to become “wholer”.

If you are going to live the Good Life you need to pursue “wholerness.”

Pursuing Wholerness is one the the Good Life Elements. www.GoLiveTheGoodLife.com www.GoodLifeElements.com

I do not think that you are going to become completely whole, so given that, I say – “Pursue Wholerness!”  You may not be able to become whole, however you can become wholer!

So What is Journaling?

Quite simply, it is simply writing. Nothing more complicated than that.

If you have a challenge that you need to face, a great way to start, is to sit down with a pad of paper and start writing.

You will be amazed how much you can discern once you start writing about your problem(s).

Self reflection is amazing. Sadly, people do not often take the time to reflect on their journey.

Journal Your Way Out of Misery

Socrates said “An unexamined life is not worth living.”  www.wikipedia.org/Socrates

I say  ”An unexamined life is marked by misery.”

If you are miserable, start writing about it. Start examining your life. Put pen to paper and begin to become the person you are.

Journaling Can Help You Healthfully Face The Stuff in Your Backpack

Each of us has stuff in our backpack that hinders us. Journaling is a great way to face what is in your backpack.

For more on the stuff in your backpack, go to www.thestuffinyourbackpack.com. I wrote that article for married people. Even if you are not married, you most likely have stuff in your backpack that is hindering you.

What Do I Write?

Okay, I am ready to write, now what? Just start writing. You will find your way.

I have found it helpful to take two approaches when I am journaling.

#1 Trying to sort out a response to a challenge you have.

When I am trying to figure out what to do next, to healthfully face a challenge in my life, I have found that writing out what my options are and writing out what I want is very helpful. Helpful, but often hard.

Regardless of what you are facing, if you start with step 1 and you work on figuring out your options and your wants, please move onto step 2 – writing out how you feel about the challenge you have.

#2 Trying to heal from; a wound to my heart, abuse, trauma, or mistreatment.

When I am trying to heal from something, I have found it helpful to write about how I feel. Even if you are not sure how you feel about something that you might need to heal from, just start writing. Write these words;

When it comes to my marriage – I feel…

When it comes to the abuse I endured as a child, my mom hitting me – I feel…

When it comes to the crappy way my boss is treating me,  I feel…

Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel

I used the above three word mantra as a way to survive my brutal childhood. While that approach helped me survive my abusive childhood, it hindered me greatly in adulthood.

The first time (in my early 20s) that it was suggested to me to write down how I felt about something, I realized that I did not feel. At least that was what I thought. I did feel, I just had to work (and write, alot!) to get in touch with my feelings.

I would literally write things like this on my yellow pad - “I do not know how I feel. This is stupid. There is no way that journaling – writing – is going to get me in touch with my feelings. I do not even want to feel. Hmmm where did that come from? why don’t I want to feel?”

With that simple realization, I was off and running.

If you want to be wholer, journal. It is an amazing tool for wholerness!

Many thanks to Bryan Van Dragt. He was the one, who first taught me to journal.

As I said at the beginning of this article - You want to change your life? Get a 12 pack of yellow pads some blue pens and start writing.

One Last Thing – Number your Pages

When you journal about something, number your pages. That way you will know when you have journaled 100 pages about that particular topic. www.journal100pages.com

If you would like to easily share this article with someone, it can be found at www.journalforwholerness.com and www.journalforlifechange.com as well as on www.stevenshomler.com

That’s it,

Steven Shomler

Who you are leaks out!

www.itleaksout.com

One of the most  important life lessons I ever learned was that, who I am leaks out. It may leak out slowly and it may take a while for people to realize that I am leaking and revealing to them what is true about me, but it happens.

You Cannot Hide Who You Are

Well, you can hide for a while, but eventually the more you are around someone or a group of people the more they start to pick up on who you are, what you like, what you long for, what you don’t like, who you like, who you don’t like, the direction you are headed in life, etc., etc., etc.

Are you currently Afraid? Hopeful? Determined? Tired? – Whatever is true about you leaks out, and eventually others pick up on it, even if they don’t realize that they are doing so.

The more people pick up on who are (vs. the “who” you would like to portray) the more they start to relate to as you really are. Even if they do not realize that this is happening.

What Are You Leaking?

A great way to come to know who you are, is to ask yourself , “what am I leaking?”

As you start to know who you currently are, and what you currently leaking, you can begin to change who you are.

What Will You Leak Next Year?

As you change and Pursue Wholerness, you will begin to leak different that you used too.

i.e – I used to leak to my wife (and to others) that I did not like her, now that I actually like my wife, I leak to her (and to others) that I like her, that is to say I leak that I have genuine affection for her, and that I prefer to be with her.  (www.doyoulikeyourspouse.com)

Pursue Wholerness it helps you leak better stuff!

If you would like to easily share this article with others, it can be found at www.itleaksout.com as well as on www.stevenshomler.com

That’s it

Steven Shomler

First published at www.BattleForaGreatMarriage.com – my marriage blog.

How Do you Define Love ?

www.howdoyoudefinelove.com

I can honestly say that I love cheeseburgers and I love my wife Gayla. However, I mean something very different when I say that I love my wife than when I say that I love cheeseburgers.

How you define “love” matters.  It matters a lot. In my experience, it is common for people to not have a working definition for love. What do you mean you use the word love?

When Gayla and I first got married, she would tell me “I love you.” Rather than say, “I love you, too,” as most husband’s would, I would ask her the question, “What do you mean when you say that?” I know, I know, very unromantic! My wife put up with a lot during our first 10 years of marriage!

It mattered to me what Gayla meant when she said that she loved me for a number of reasons.

#1 – I have been married twice and Gayla is the second person I married.  My first wife used to tell me that she loved me, and we ended up divorced. Having my first marriage end in divorce impacted me quite a bit and messed with both my head and my heart. I carried that baggage into my second marriage and sadly, it was years before I faced that baggage.

#2 – Another reason that what Gayla meant when she told me that she loved me mattered so much to me was because of my mother. Growing up I was abused by my mother. For example, when I was very young, my mom would beat me with a broom stick. Every time she would go into a rage and hit me, she would later calm down and hold me and tell me that, you guessed it, that she “loved” me.

I grew up wondering what this “I love you” thing was really all about. I grew up wondering what people actually meant when they said the words “I love you”.

I would encourage to you invest time figuring out your own working definition for the word “love.” How cool would be to you to tell your daughter “I love you” and have her ask Dad or Mom, “What do you  mean when you tell me that you love me?” and then be able to tell her what it means to you? How much would that enhance what she hears the next time you tell her “I love you?”

My Working Definitions of Love

I have two definitions for the word love. The first I use generally and the other I use with regards to relationships.

My definition of “Love” in a general or colloquial sense –  as in, “I love Cheeseburgers” -

Something that you really really like, that makes you feel really, really good is something that you “love”. i.e. – I love cheeseburgers, or I love going to Disneyland , or I love water skiing.

My definition of “Love” in a relational sense  - as in, “I love my wife” -

Love is a willingness to do the work of nurturing relationship, accompanied by the feeling of care for someone , as well as a concern for their well being. i.e. – I love my wife, or I love my daughter, or I love my son.

I do not think you can love someone and not have both feelings (emotion) for them as well as be willing to continue to do the work of relationship.

Some definitions for love that I have come across completely leave out feelings. I do think that a wife would be blessed to have her husband say to her  ”I love you dear, but, please know I have a definition for love that does not includes any feelings toward you, my love for you is purely intellectual.”

On the other hand I have come across definitions for love that do not mention work or effort.

Relationships that are not nurtured wither, and nurturing takes effort or work.

I do not think that you can love someone without doing “work” or exerting “effort.” While that may not sound warm and fuzzy, I have found it to be very true. Sometimes the “work” of nurturing various relationships I have is easy, but sometimes it takes real effort and hard work.

If you like my definitions for love – adopt them and use them. At minimum, I hope that I have inspired you to come up with you own definition for love. Know what you mean when you tell someone “I love you.”

I have to give credit where credit is due.  My thoughts on love have been greatly shaped by M. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled. I first read this book when I was in my early twenties and I have been ruminating about what he wrote for almost 20 years now.

If you have not read The Road Less Travelled and if you have questions about “love,” I highly  encourage you to read it. This book is divided into 4 sections and Section 2 is entitled “Love.” In section 2 Peck spends quite a bit time writing about what love is not. Quite interesting. While you may not agree with everything he writes (I do not), it will definitely give you grist for your mill. Once you do come across Peck’s definition for “love” you will see where he and I slightly part ways.

If you would like to easily share this aricle with someone it can be found at www.howdoyoudefinelove.com as well as on www.battleforagreatmarriage.com

God bless,

Pastor Steven

 How I define Grace

www.definegrace.com

I am big on definitions.

If you do not know what a word means, then I am not sure that it is actually useful to you.

When it comes to relational or spiritual matters, I think that it is mission critical to know what certain words mean.

If you are are in a faith community, it can be helpful if not necessary, to know what certain words mean in that community.

Let me explain If you are married – What does it mean when you tell your spouse that you love them?

What is your working definition of Love? I mention “Love” because I have a working definition that I use.  (I have posted that definition at www.howdoyoudefinelove.com.)

Given my background and the Dire Marriage that my wife and I had, it became very important for us to figure out what it meant when we said, “I love you,” to each other.

(What is a Dire Marriage, you say? You can now go to www.diremarriage.com and read that article on my Battle for a Great Marriage blog.  www.BattleForaGreatMarriage.com )

If you are in a spiritual community that uses the word “Faith” or or the word “Love” or “Grace” in its mission statement, and the leadership of that faith community  does not define what the word “Faith” or “Love” or ” Grace”means in your faith community, then that mission statement is likely not helpful. Because the words are not defined in that community, people are likely to be all over the board – even contradictory to each other – with what those important spiritual/religious words mean.

You do not need the “right” answer.

When it comes to words like “Love” or “Faith” or “Grace,” you do not need the “right” answer, you simply need the definition that works for you.  The definition  that works for you becomes your “working definition.”

If you are a in spiritual community that regularly uses a word like “Faith” or “Love” or “Grace,” it is helpful to know how it is defined in that community. Hopefully the leader of your spiritual community regularly says, “Around here we define ‘Faith’ as _______,” or ”Around here we define ‘Love’ as _______,” or ”Around here we define ‘Grace’ as _______.”

The word “Grace” has been a big deal in every church where I have been the Lead Pastor. It is a word that was used quite a bit. And in every church where I was the Lead Pastor, I said, “Around here, we define Grace as _____.”

To this day, when I see people that I pastored in Olympia, Washington — four churches and 10 years ago, and I ask them to define ‘Grace,’ they are able to tell me the definition we used way back then.

What is your working definition of Grace?

Grace is a huge deal when it comes to Jesus and His Kingdom. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked someone with connection to Jesus what their working definition of Grace is only to have them look at me with a blank stare.

If you cannot define Grace, I do not know how Grace can effectively help you in your spiritual or religious  journey. (In my experience, some people are on a spiritual journey and some people are on a religious journey.)

Here is how I define Grace

“There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less.”

That’s it. That is how I define Grace.

At WindWorks Faith Community (Olympia, WA) and Pathways Church of Maple Grove(Maple Grove, MN) and Compass Community Church (Portland, OR) - I often said “Around here we define Grace as this – ‘There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less’.”

My own children, when they were much younger, sometimes appeared to be busy coloring or reading during church. But each on occasion surprised me by providing the answer when I asked an unsuspecting adult “What is Grace?” before that adult could even get their mind around the question.

These days, I say at Bridge City Community Church (Milwaukie, OR), “The way I define Grace is this ‘There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less’ .”

So far, you have read my definition of Grace three times. I hope that it is starting to sink in.

God’s love for you is not based on your behavior.

God’s affection for you is not based on your behavior.

You cannot change God’s incredibly positive feelings for you! (If the thought that God has emotions is a new thought for you – check out the book Feel by Matthew Elliott or the book Feeling like God by Chris Tiegreen.)

You cannot change God’s love for you. Your “good” behavior does not change God’s love for you. Your “naughty” behavior does not change God’s love for you.

God loves you. That’s It. Period. Deal with it. Or don’t, because God gives free will and you choose whether or not to respond to His love.

It is possible that this definition raises questions for you. If it does, please email me. My email address for this blog is ancientwaywarmingfire@yahoo.com Perhaps your questions will be the basis for a future blog post.

I have purposely not answered the questions that people have brought up when I tell my working definition of Grace.  These questions vary depending on whether that person is on a spiritual journey or on a religious journey.

Let me close with this - ”There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less.”

God Bless,

Pastor Steven Shomler

if you would like to easily share this article with someone – this article can be found at www.definegrace.com